Rearrange
by Sare Liz
Summary: But it was the rare moment like this – like seeing her across the room – that the dissatisfaction grew within him, made him restless for something he didn’t have, for something he’d nearly had, once upon a time. HG/SS


**Title**: Rearrange  
**Author**: Sare Liz  
**Rating**: PG  
**Pairing**: SS/HG  
**Continuity**: DH+bezoar, EWE.  
**Warnings**: None  
**Disclaimer**: Of course they don't belong to me.  
**Author's Note**: This is not the first fic that has been spawned by the entirely wonderful U2 song, "The Fly" – see end note for lyrics. No, this is not the only fic I've written inspired by this song, but possibly the only one for this fandom. …No, that might not even be true. Hm.

Hm. So. Lots of interesting things have been going on. More on that later. But one of the upshots for you was that I was sifting through my fic for this ship, reorganizing my file folders, and rereading to see what was finished, unfinished, a perpetual WIP, you know – same old, same old, and I came across this one. And I don't think I ever posted it. And I have no idea when I wrote it, but here you go – one of a few I'll be posting, should time permit. Consider them a little Valentine's Day Prezzie.

***

He saw her as they walked in. Severus had long ago instituted a system of inner honesty, and so he had to admit to himself that he hadn't noticed her as just one among many. He had noticed her. _Her._ Hermione Granger, Order of Merlin, First Class, Knight of the Realm, Auror and Social Activist, and she was dancing on the arm of her latest.

Of course, he had his latest on his arm, so it was possible he was being unfair in his contempt, but that rarely stopped him from feeling it anyway.

He continued to escort his date into the ballroom and almost instantly they stepped out on the dance floor. She was an excellent dancer and a charming conversationalist. Three years older than him and the owner of her own small wizarding business, she was a fair catch and they had been dating on and off for a year now. The sex was good and her children were grown and gone. He supposed he ought to be happy. Albus would have been encouraging him to settle down at this point, had Albus still been alive to encourage. The portrait of the former Headmaster was currently encouraging him to do just that, actually, but encouragement from the magical imitation of a dead person didn't count, in Severus' opinion.

It was strange though – he did occasionally have minor fantasies of something approximating domestic bliss. It wasn't something to which he was morally opposed, at least in theory. But it was the rare moment like this – like seeing her across the room – that the dissatisfaction grew within him, made him restless for something he didn't have, for something he'd nearly had, once upon a time.

Off the dance floor now, sipping a glass of red wine each when who but Saint Potter should walk up, smiling like they were old friends. Charming young Potter was desirous to be introduced to his lovely date, who blushed at the compliments. Then he begged a dance, to which Severus shrugged, wondering what was going on, and not daring to hope that it was the obvious diversion it seemed to be.

But then she walked up. His heart caught in his throat for an instant and he blessed Potter, though only for an instant.

"Will you dance with me, Snape?"

Even as he stood and offered her his arm, he recalled his words uttered in a cold fury all those years ago, those words forbidding her to use his first name, to ever assume such intimacy with him again. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It seemed… cumbersome and awkward now.

They danced in silence for a while. Her dancing had improved.

"Where do you think we went wrong, Snape?" she asked quietly as they waltzed.

"The _one_ place we went wrong?" he asked, somewhat incredulously, knowing full well they had made mistake after mistake with one another. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm at a place in my life where I'm asking," she answered. "I'm evaluating the past and stepping into the future. Only I want to make sure I'm choosing the right path. So I'm asking. Will you answer?"

Severus happened to catch sight of her date out of the corner of his eye. He seemed deeply engaged in conversation with Lady Potter, his back to the dance floor.

"Has he asked you to marry him, then?" He turned her and danced them out of the line of sight of Ginerva and her conversation partner.

"No, but I think he will this evening, later." She paused before continuing on. "Won't you answer my question? Was I just too young? Was it too soon after the war? Were we just too different for one another? I've thought about it, but I'd like to have your insights, if you're willing to share them."

"You were too young. It was too soon after the war. We were too different for one another. And I was too much of an unforgiving bastard to you. It was too soon after you'd taken your NEWTs. We might have done better if we'd had some time – you, time to actually experience your transition to adulthood, me to experience my first moment of freedom since my transition to adulthood."

She looked at him hard and he looked back unflinchingly. "Do you really believe that? That we would have done better if we'd waited? That we… might still be together, if we hadn't rushed into it?" She had an intriguing look on her face.

"I did mean it, though it might not be true. If we'd waited, I might not have even consented to such a relationship. I almost didn't as it was." He watched her raise an eyebrow and give him a small, sexy smile. "Yes, but you can be very convincing when you choose to be. And persistent."

As they continued to dance and Hermione continued to sport a contemplative look on her face, Severus caught another glimpse of her date.

"It seems our clandestine conversation will be over soon. Your date seems to be growing anxious without you. I heard he's a muggle. I commend you for telling him before the wedding."

She looked sharply at him. "I haven't said yes, yet."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Since we're in such a sharing mood, will you humor my fit of curiosity and tell me why you aren't more enthusiastic?"

"I have already told you."

"Ah yes. Questioning many things in your life. The road not taken. Very existential. You get an 'O' for introspection," Severus responded, affecting his tone with boredom he didn't feel.

"The next thing I know, you'll be awarding points to Gryffindor," she said, her tone arch, but somewhat flirtatious.

"I did so just the other day," he pointed out, dancing past the Minister and his reputed and much younger mistress.

"Well done, Snape, you have grown as a person. I'd heard rumors, you know."

"Vicious things, rumors. Don't believe any of them."

"Well, it turns out they're true this time."

"Well, yes, they usually are."

She laughed, and it was a deep throaty sound that shot straight down his spine.

"I'd heard other rumors, too. I hear you're likely to be wed soon. Congratulations on finding a woman you can stand."

The shiver turned cold. "I'd found a woman I could stand once before."

"Oh? Yes, but I wasn't counting Lily," she said softly, her tone turning from one of bantering to that of compassion.

"Neither was I." He met her eyes and sunk deep in them, finding understanding perhaps, though he wasn't willing to bet on it without Legilimency.

"And is the rumor true?"

"I, too, have not yet decided."

"And what is holding you back?"

"The same thing that his holding you back," he countered.

She laughed again, and he could see that something had changed in her demeanor, but perhaps for his benefit. "I seriously doubt that reminiscing about what might have been with the brooding headmaster of your alma mater is what is holding you back."

He closed his eyes momentarily and just took a moment to breathe. It felt good. Opening them back up again, he saw her looking at him warily. "Join me for breakfast tomorrow," he said softly, watching her eyes grow round and crinkle again, this time because of her smile. "I have a half-ten portkey to Rome, just for the day. Aside from a short meeting, we could spend our time talking in picturesque and distinctly warmer climes." He left unsaid that he believed they had quite a bit to talk about.

"I will join you. Thank you. And the password?"

His heart clenched. It was due to change at 7 A.M. as it always did on Saturdays, but he couldn't tell her the new password until he knew her intentions. He refused to thusly damn himself. He wasn't looking for a quick shag, or to be someone's little piece on the side. "What will you tell your dear muggle when he asks you to marry him this evening?"

The dance was over, and he was slowly, ever so slowly, escorting her off the dance floor as they spoke.

"I will regret to inform him that I'm just not sure it's going to work out between us. And then I will kiss him goodbye." She paused and looked up, catching his eye and looking away. "And what will you tell your beloved?" she asked softly.

They were nearly upon Lady Potter and the muggle. "That it has been enjoyable. That it is now over."

Hermione stopped their progress and turned to him. She placed her hands lightly on his shoulders and as she leaned close to his ear, his hands automatically slipped to her waist to steady her. She felt so familiar, even though it had been years.

"What is your password, Severus?" she asked, the soft sibilance of his given name sending tiny sparks through his body, the likes of which he hadn't felt in quite some time.

"Insufferable Know-It-All," he answered just as softly before stepping back, bowing, and walking away.

The End.

**

* * *

End Note:**

"The Fly" by U2

It's no secret that the stars are falling from the sky  
It's no secret that our world is in darkness tonight  
They say the sun is sometimes eclipsed by the moon  
You know I don't see you when she walks in the room.

It's no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help  
It's no secret that a liar won't believe anyone else  
They say a secret is something that you tell one other person  
So I'm telling you, child:

"Love, you shine like a burning star falling from the sky, tonight."  
A man will beg, a man will crawl  
On the sheer face of love  
Like a fly on the wall.

It's no secret at all.

It's no secret that a conscience can sometimes be a pest  
It's no secret ambition bites the nails of success  
Every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief  
They all kill their inspiration then sing about their grief

"Love, you shine like a burning star, falling from the sky, tonight."  
A man will rise, a man will fall  
From the sheer face of love  
Like a fly from the wall

…it's no secret at all

"Love, you shine like a burning star, falling from the sky, tonight."  
"Love, you shine like a burning star, falling from the sky, tonight."  
A man will rise, a man will fall  
From the sheer face of love  
Like a fly from the wall

…it's no secret at all

It's no secret that the stars are falling from the sky  
The universe exploded as one man's lie  
_Look, I've got to go, yes, I'm running out of change_  
_There's a lot of things if I could I'd **rearrange**._


End file.
